Monday, February 18, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I’m crying and I don’t know exactly why. It’s just worthy of mourning.
I’m listening to “Somebody’s Baby” by Jon Foreman. It’s about a homeless woman.
This Sunday I thought a lot about what it means to be in that position and what my role is as someone who does have means to care for those who don’t. How does that play out in a generous yet wise way? Not just a handout to take my mind off of the real problems, but understanding what’s driving these problems. Getting to know people, and investing some time, not just throwing money at someone’s plight.
“More than just your cash and coin, I want your time, I want your voice.” –Derek Webb
I love my family and I’m so glad they visited me. But I see the people we passed on the way to our nice Sunday lunch. I see the woman on the side of the road with a broken down car. I see the supposedly homeless guy with his dog. We didn’t stop for them to see if we could help – make sure the woman was okay, see if the guy who wanted money would like a meal instead. I wish we would have.
Here are things from the song that get me. Snippets that make this woman real to me (Full lyrics here):
“if you were homeless, sure as hell you’d be drunk…when people don’t want you…”
“her name was November”
“every now and again when she’s sober, she brushes her teeth”
“she’s somebody’s baby girl, and she’s somebody’s baby still”
Monday, February 11, 2008
I am a sovereign prince of Egypt
A son of the proud history that’s shown
Etched on every wall
Surely this is all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
All I ever
-The Prince of Egypt
This is such a poignant song of longing and belonging sung by the character of Moses in this recent adaptation of the age old Exodus story. But the true beauty of this story, is that these sentiments are not the end. Character development, right?
Up until now, this is all that Moses has wanted. To belong here in this comfortable household. But God is calling him out into the unknown. Out on this journey that will through all its hardships and joys, teach Moses that his desires were in fact, too small. He actually will come to desire the LORD in that way. Surely THIS is all I ever wanted.
I think of Moses’ journey and this song especially right now as I’m nearing so many changes in life. Though I am not graduating in 3 short months, many of my close friends are. Their lives (and mine) will be altered forever. I follow in little over a year to a place of being uprooted from this dearly beloved and comfortable haven of Chapel Hill. What I have once considered home, will be so no longer.
I’ve gone through this before, when I left Jamestown to come to Chapel Hill. It was a process of letting go of my original concept of home, and realizing where my TRUE home lies. I think as humans it’s easy to find contentment where we are and in the comforts that surround us. The fact that I’ve lived in Joyner for two years is comfortable to me. I’d like to stay here. Walk past Davis library and on up the steps into my home. Have a cup of cider in my room, across from my lovely, funny, vibrant neighbors. Go for a run in the forest. Stay up until 2 a.m. in the first floor lobby – a veritable living room of sorts. So much like I imagine the Gryffindor common room.
But God periodically calls us out of our comfort so that we will realize our dependency on Him, just like He called Moses. Right now my vision has been for Joyner and Chapel Hill as “all I ever wanted.” Through the next few years, God will be painfully prying loose my fingers from what I hold dear, to see that only He is “all I ever wanted.”
I can follow Him next year to Connor, or wherever else I end up living. It will be a precursor to the even bigger move of following Him into the utter unknown of Los Angeles the year after.
I am excited to see “the change You sow” as Caedmon’s Call sings. I can’t wait to see the incredible things God does in my life and the lives of my friends. Change is exciting for the possibilities and also because it stands in direct contrast to the “Only One” that never changes (like Lifehouse sings).
For anyone interested in reading what I thought about the concept of “home” at the end of my freshman year of college, check out my old Xanga here. Another interesting post is what I wrote right after my first semester of intense transition. That link is here.
Have a beautiful day, my friends! Be shaken up by the unsettling Love.